


Tony Gets Parks & Rec'd

by VYCanisMajoris



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Retail, Janet Van Dyne/Natasha Romanova - Background Relationship, M/M, Parks & Recs quotes, Pick-Up Lines, Sam Wilson/James "Bucky" Barnes - Background Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-29
Updated: 2017-03-29
Packaged: 2018-10-12 09:07:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10487235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VYCanisMajoris/pseuds/VYCanisMajoris
Summary: For Tumblr Prompt:Hey! What about a Stony department store AU where new guy Steve from Menswear thinks Tony from Electronics is hella cute??? (I've thought about writing this fic, but I'm too busy DX)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. They belong to Marvel Entertainment. Any writing is completely fan-made and I make no profit from this writing.

“How-”

“If you ask me _one more time_ how it’s possible that he’s ‘that cute,’ I will actually kill you.”

“I wasn’t going to.” Steve says, frowning at Sam.  

“Rogers, that’s the only thing you’ve said in the past half hour. I know it, you know it, Jan knows it, though she’s somehow developed the ability to completely ignore you when you’re whining.”

“Years of practice from boring gala’s,” Jan says, restacking the shoe boxes with amazing speed and efficiency, “Also, Nat told me earlier to tell you that you and Bucky are meeting us at our apartment for a double date.”

“Who’s cooking?” Sam asks, crossing his fingers. 

“Bucky.”

“No offense, Jan, but thank God.” 

Jan doesn’t reply, but she does nod, eyes wide. It’s the worst kept secret that Natasha isn’t good at cooking, better at burning water than anything else, though she’s amazing at baking, for some reason. 

As Jan restarts her stocking, Sam looks back to Steve, brows raised, and asks, “You got a reply for me?”

Steve shrugs, looking at countless shoes lined up in rows atop the shelves. Sam watches him, wondering how Steve manages to resemble the aftermath of a puppy being drenched with freezing water when he’s a literal wall of muscle. 

“Did you break Steve?” Jan asks, not glancing up from her almost finished stack of shoe boxes.

“I didn’t.”

“I think you did.” 

“He’s using his ‘puppy-look’,” Sam marks the quotations in the air with one hand, “James told me about it, and I’ve seen it in action. He’s trying to get your sympathy because he doesn’t think he can do whatever his goal is.”

Jan looks at Steve, eyes narrowed as she places the last box in its place, clunking it on the shelf with a sense of finality, and she asks, “Seriously?”

Steve shrugs again, finally looking up to their gazes, and says, “I’m not good at flirting.”

“You put famous models to shame, Steve,” Sam says, “Go, flex a little, and ask him out.”

“Don’t flex,” Jan says, standing up from her place near the shelf. She dusts off her knees, and reaches into her pocket, pulling out a high-tech phone in a shining gold case that matches her dress perfectly. 

She starts typing, manicured fingers almost blurring with speed as she says, “Tony hates when people try to Neanderthal him into a date. Just ask him out.”

“Jan.” Steve says, staring at her, eyes pleading, “I can’t do that.”

“Do you not know how?” Jan asks, clicking her phone off. “Just say, ‘Will you go on a date with me?’ and he’ll say, ‘Yes!’ and you’ll say, ‘Great!’ and Tony will say-”

“I’m sorry, Jan,” Steve interrupts her, “I just…”

“Think he’s super cute and want to play with his hair and stare at his face and-”

“Thank you, Sam,” Steve says, voice strained. The tension in him increases tenfold as a familiar voice calls, “Hey, Jan!” 

“Hey, Tony!” Jan says, smiling as she moves across the floor to meet Tony, who is admittedly cute. Sam watches, brows raised, as Steve’s cheeks flush; he must hate his Irish skin at times like this.

“Well, hey Tony!” Sam adds, waving for them to come forward as Steve shoots daggers at him, eyes full of betrayal. Did Natasha teach him how to do that? Steve’s eyes could make the most hardened criminal soften.

Jan pulls Tony back across the floor to stand by Sam and Steve in front of the register. Tony follows her, glancing around the department floor. His eyes pause on Sam as he nods hello, which Sam returns, and his eyes fully stop on Steve as he gives a tentative smile. 

“You know what, Tony? Those pants are nice,” Jan says, still smiling bright enough to make a sun envious, and Sam knows where’s she going with this. 

“Oh,” Tony smiles, which makes Steve smile in return, “Thanks! Though, you did help me pick them out, Jan.”

“I bet they’d look even better on Steve’s floor.”

Sam bites down on his knuckles, wishing he had a camera to take a picture of Steve’s face, tomato-red and full of shock. Tony’s isn’t much better, cheeks a bright pink and eyes wide, showing the whites. 

“Jan!” Steve breathes, glancing between her and Tony, “What the _hell_?”

“Did I say that out loud?” Jan asks, tilting her head. Before either can reply, she reaches out, catching Sam’s arm, and pulls him alongside her as she strides away, short legs carrying her far. “Well, we’re clocking out! Have fun figuring out your romantic tension!”

Sam follows her, having to jog to keep up with her, and glances back as they move. Steve and Tony are standing froze, staring at each other with wide eyes, when Steve opens his mouth and starts to say something that Sam can’t hear. Apparently Steve has more game than he said, since Tony nods quickly, reaching out to take his hand. Steve takes it, and links their fingers together.  

“Did you just Parks & Rec. them?”

“Yep.”

“That’s amazing!” Sam laughs, then pauses, thinking for a minute, and asks, “You texted Tony to come over, didn’t you?”

“Yep.”

“You’re amazing.”

Jan nods, “I really am.”


End file.
